I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
