you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
