i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
