Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize