Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
