I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
