so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
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