I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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