Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
