The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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