How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
