So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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