I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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