it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
