How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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