If i come over, it means nothing
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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