Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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