somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
