this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
