it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
