great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
