Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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