Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
