dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
