did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
