driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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