It's like God shit irony all over that family
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
