Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
