: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Sober January is a disaster.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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