Sponge bath it is.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
