My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
