is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
