We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize