You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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