And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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