If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
