hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
