Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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