Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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