Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Alive.
So much puke
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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