i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
