i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I FOUND THE LEGS
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
