wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i think i have two assholes
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
