you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
