Too much gin, very little bucket
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
