she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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