HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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