Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
