I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
