guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize