I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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