I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
