I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
