i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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