yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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