dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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