it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
