i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize