Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
pray to the hookup gods
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
