your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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