We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
