so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
