What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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