I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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