Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
