But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
