the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
