Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
