i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
