All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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