I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
