We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
